Cranial Spillover No. 1
Used to be my sister made the best eggplant parmesan I ever had. I tried to make it myself, but it never turned out very well. I had to wait for the holidays for a decent eggplant dish.
But I am stubborn, and I prevailed. I learned a few tricks watching cooking shows, and here's a way to make perfect eggplant without frying it.
1) If you don't drain the eggplant, it cooks into a soggy mess. Step one — slice the eggplant into medallions about 3/16 in width. Layer them in a colander, sprinkling some kosher salt every few layers. Then, spread the slices between layers of paper towels and press out the water. This water will take away some of the bitterness of the eggplant.
2) Flour, eggwash and bread the slices.
3) Grease and pre-heat a cookie sheet in a 500 degree oven. Yep, very hot. Place the slices flat on the hot sheet and listen to 'em crackle. Bake at the high temperature for 6 minutes, flip, then 4 more minutes.
Crispy and delicious eggplant — you're on your own for sauce and cheese. Invite me over to try.
********
So while I'm making my delicious eggplant parm, I tune into Celebrity Apprentice. Gene Simmons is cracking me up. The assignment is one for Kodak, our floundering hometown reinvented corporation. Simmons just basks in his own bravado, and he instantly thinks of the slogan, "It's a Kodak world, and we're a part of it." Then, he proclaims, "10 minutes in, and we're done." (I paraphrase)
That slogan would instantly paint Kodak, previously a Fast Eddie Felson in a roomful of Minnesota Fats in the inkjet printing industry, as the world leader in a new dominion. They would have been like the guy who sweeps in and steals your prom date just before the last dance. Instead, Kodak chose the other nondescript slogan, a cliched "it's a knockout" theme. Losers.
Worse, Simmons was kicked off Trump Island (am I mixing reality TV metaphors?) so now I have no reason to watch any further. He was the only enigmatic character there, and in his short stay, he overshadowed the blusterous Donald Trump. There lies the problem, methinks. Goodbye, Gene. Kiss your ratings goodbye, Apprentice. (Get it? Kiss... Gene Simmons!)
Oh, and where do you get off calling this cast of marginal wannabes and castoff has-beens "celebrities?" Tsk, tsk.
*********
If the Writers' strike continues the networks will be forced to develop more reality TV concepts and spin off ridiculous variations of already worn-out rubbish. Celebrity Apprentice is one. The Biggest Loser Couples? Because watching one fat person struggle with their obesity is not enough? What's next? The Biggest Loser Threesomes? Please, just put skewers in my eyes, now.
How about a useful reality show. Give it a catchy title, like "Let's Balance the Federal Budget." Invite participants like that sorry Miss Teen South Carolina to help save all the U.S. Americans.
I heard about a new one in the works: Fear Factor: Election Year. Your first challenge, would you rather vote for a female politician just to see what kind of china pattern her husband will select, or would you rather eat a plate of maggots. "Joe, I'll take the maggots." Second challenge, would you rather vote for the black candidate, or dive into a flaming pool of lit kerosene to retrieve a series of mines set to detonate at ten second intervals? "Hand me my flippers, Joe."
Ah, hell, just give the writers their fair share of internet and DVD revenues, and return us to our regular programming, already in progress.
********
Thanks for reading my blog. Please comment and let me know what you think!
But I am stubborn, and I prevailed. I learned a few tricks watching cooking shows, and here's a way to make perfect eggplant without frying it.
1) If you don't drain the eggplant, it cooks into a soggy mess. Step one — slice the eggplant into medallions about 3/16 in width. Layer them in a colander, sprinkling some kosher salt every few layers. Then, spread the slices between layers of paper towels and press out the water. This water will take away some of the bitterness of the eggplant.
2) Flour, eggwash and bread the slices.
3) Grease and pre-heat a cookie sheet in a 500 degree oven. Yep, very hot. Place the slices flat on the hot sheet and listen to 'em crackle. Bake at the high temperature for 6 minutes, flip, then 4 more minutes.
Crispy and delicious eggplant — you're on your own for sauce and cheese. Invite me over to try.
********
So while I'm making my delicious eggplant parm, I tune into Celebrity Apprentice. Gene Simmons is cracking me up. The assignment is one for Kodak, our floundering hometown reinvented corporation. Simmons just basks in his own bravado, and he instantly thinks of the slogan, "It's a Kodak world, and we're a part of it." Then, he proclaims, "10 minutes in, and we're done." (I paraphrase)
That slogan would instantly paint Kodak, previously a Fast Eddie Felson in a roomful of Minnesota Fats in the inkjet printing industry, as the world leader in a new dominion. They would have been like the guy who sweeps in and steals your prom date just before the last dance. Instead, Kodak chose the other nondescript slogan, a cliched "it's a knockout" theme. Losers.
Worse, Simmons was kicked off Trump Island (am I mixing reality TV metaphors?) so now I have no reason to watch any further. He was the only enigmatic character there, and in his short stay, he overshadowed the blusterous Donald Trump. There lies the problem, methinks. Goodbye, Gene. Kiss your ratings goodbye, Apprentice. (Get it? Kiss... Gene Simmons!)
Oh, and where do you get off calling this cast of marginal wannabes and castoff has-beens "celebrities?" Tsk, tsk.
*********
If the Writers' strike continues the networks will be forced to develop more reality TV concepts and spin off ridiculous variations of already worn-out rubbish. Celebrity Apprentice is one. The Biggest Loser Couples? Because watching one fat person struggle with their obesity is not enough? What's next? The Biggest Loser Threesomes? Please, just put skewers in my eyes, now.
How about a useful reality show. Give it a catchy title, like "Let's Balance the Federal Budget." Invite participants like that sorry Miss Teen South Carolina to help save all the U.S. Americans.
I heard about a new one in the works: Fear Factor: Election Year. Your first challenge, would you rather vote for a female politician just to see what kind of china pattern her husband will select, or would you rather eat a plate of maggots. "Joe, I'll take the maggots." Second challenge, would you rather vote for the black candidate, or dive into a flaming pool of lit kerosene to retrieve a series of mines set to detonate at ten second intervals? "Hand me my flippers, Joe."
Ah, hell, just give the writers their fair share of internet and DVD revenues, and return us to our regular programming, already in progress.
********
Thanks for reading my blog. Please comment and let me know what you think!
Hello Kerry *
Ok, that was a very interesting blog. Thanks for teaching me how to make eggplant without frying it. I will have to try it sometime. I am not the best cook in the world these days, but. I may invite ya over neighbor *
Hope you are doing well. I cannot do blogs here and on Myspace. I can only do Myspace. I cannot blog all over the world. * lol
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That is so funny, Gene was the only reason I watched the show also! Had to see those 2 egos clash. I think you're right, ratings will go down since no one knows who the hell anyone else is, except that there's a Baldwin on the show.
As for the eggplant, sounds awesome! I saw a show where a diner made batter stick to onion rings in a 3 step process. 1 peel skin from onion, leave in fridge overnight, 2. slice onions, leave in fridge overnight again, 3. coat and cook. Same idea of getting the onion dried out enough to hold onto the batter. Of course, it's a long process if you want eggplant tonight! You'd have to be one of those people who can plan well enough ahead. I'm not always so great a that. Hey, since when can you afford eggplant??
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