Today, I drove to the post office and while sitting at a traffic light, had the pleasure of watching little hailstones bounce off the hood of my car.  Hail is one of those interesting little weather anomalies that make things fun.  Of course, when I'm at home, I try catching the hailstones on my tongue and then drink my scotch before they melt.  I think I've been successful most of the time.  But in truth, I do not remember.  Which makes me think I was successful.

Whenever we have strange weather, I think of the early cavemen who endured the first winter.

"Leaves gone.  Earth... dying," Ugg whould say.
"Cold as hell," says his lovely neanderthal bride, Barbarella.  "Ugg, start a fire."
"Fire not invented yet.  Use bear skin I hunted for you."
"Oh, no.  Not me, Ugg!  Remember last time we use bear skin?"
"Yes, I remember.  Female bear skin.  Male bear want cave back for hibernating.  Think we were mama bear."
"Ugg, where is that cave drawing?"
"I cross it out, Barbarella.  Bring back bad memory.  Me no sit for moons. But we learn, bears no sleep all the time when they hibernate."
"Ugg, I think cold punishment from the gods."
"Me think maybe I clubbed you on head too hard."
Raising her voice, Barbarella says, "ME THINK gods punish you for sleeping with wife of Og."
"Then me think I got punished twice.  Og beat crap out of me.  No, I already punished for sleeping with Paris.  Cold come because you are barren, and have no children for me because you withhold sex."
"Ugg, I just 13."
"Yes, and in two years, we both die of old age."
"Cold not because of me.  Cold here because you not hunt enough meat."
"Cold here because you nag."
"Cold here because you sit on ass, looking at sky all day."
"I sit on ass looking at sky wondering if it will get cold.  Me think cold come because Barbarella not gather enough berries."
"Me think berries make Ugg irregular.  Cold come because Ugg make skid marks in his loin cloth."
"If wheel invented yet, I would take it to the corner bar and drink fermented water."
"Rambo have wheel."
"Rambo have wheel, but no axle.  Rambo have high forehead."
"I could have shared cave with Rambo.  He tried to club me before you."
"Now, I suppose he got many hot chicks because he got wheel."
"Rambo invent fire.  His cave warm."
"Rambo no invent fire.  Rambo have gas problem.  That why cave warm."
"Rambo have stone tools.  Rambo invent many things.  What you invent, Ugg?"
"When I sit, Barbarella, me think I invent something.  I call it 'weather.'  I tell people when it get cold, and they pay me shells and metallic objects."
Barbarella sits up straight, curious about this new technology.  "How you tell when cold come?"
"Leaves go.  Cold come.  Bear disappear to caves, cold come.  Bear come out, streams get full and move fast, it get warm again."
"How you know you right?" Barbarella asks.
Ugg shrugs.  "Not matter.  Ugg only need be right part times.  All men want to know weather of future.  Ugg be rich man.   Ugg have many wheels.  Ugg be first to have fire. Ugg be first to have icebox.  Then meat not smell so bad."

Thanks to Ugg, Barbarella and the others made it through that first winter.  The following year, Ugg was mauled by a bear.  Barbarella became wealthy making pornographic cave paintings of Ugg encountering a high pressure system, if you know what I mean.