Okie Oddities
From the “Things I Learned While Looking Up Other Things” Dept.
By Kerry Gleason
Having too much fun with this to pass up a chance to blog. I was researching Tulsa, Oklahoma, to write about a fictional character from there, and learned more about Oklahoma than I thought I'd ever care to know. Here are some of the oddities in Tulsa, and around the rest of the state.
Tulsa is home of the largest pair of praying hands sculpture. It is also the only city in America with a six-figure budget line item for a manicurist. It's also home to the Center of the Universe, which is an attraction described as “astonishing,” “eerie,” “free parking” and “no traffic.” The gist is that when you stand in the circle, you hear an echo that nobody else can hear. Sounds like a Kathie Griffin stand-up appearance. There's the Golden Driller Titanic Oil Man. Every guy would like that nickname, but there's only one, and he stands in Tulsa. Detractors of the statue, one of the hugest in America, point out that the Driller is somewhat hermaphroditic, that the model for the statue was a woman, and apparently, he wears a sting of beads that is unmanly. Tulsa also has a time capsule featuring a 1998 Plymouth Prowler, already a collectible keepsake, and local restaurant menus. That's gonna be a helluva party when they dig that baby up in 2048!
Other Okie Oddities include:
Clinton – The Elvis Stayed Here Motel. It was Elvis Grbac, former KC Chief's QB, not the one you were thinking.
Arcadia – the world's largest pop bottle. Underestimated is the world's largest drinking straw.
Ardmore – a music box allegedly shot by Jesse James. I figure I'll pass. If Jesse hated the music that much, then I don't need to hear it, either.
Avard – a haunted gymnasium and cafe. Vinne Rae's Grill and Graze is in an old gymnasium that is haunted. No doubt by customers who died from the food at Vinnie Rae's.
Beaver – The Cow-Chip Throwing Capital of the World. Now there's a testament to the excitement this place has to offer. “What dya wanna do, Clem.” “I dunno, Cletus. What dy'all want to do?” “Bet I can throw this here cow dung further than you.” “Bet ya can't!” And a city gained an identity.
Boise City – has a “replica bomb crater.” Because some dumbass filled the original in before some other dumbass thought there might be people stupid enough to visit a bomb crater.
Claremore – has the Will Rogers' Memorial, featuring the contents of his pockets at the time of his death.
Durant – The world's largest peanut is here. I love peanuts. Why didn't they plant it and grow more giant peanuts? Selfish bastards.
Erick – The home of the Roger “King of the Road” Miller Museum. I loved Roger Miller. Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it!
Guthrie – gunfights in the streets. We have that here in Rochester, too.
Foyil – World's largest totem pole. Ed Galloway built it after retiring “so that I would have something to do.”
Guymon – World's straightest road, for 50 miles. As opposed to Toronto's Church Street, which is the un-straghtest road I've ever encountered, if you get my drift.
Hugo – Called “Circus Town USA.” Also called “Carnie Heaven.” Otherwise known as “The Greatest Freak Show on Earth,” and “The Off-Center of the Universe.”
Magnum – Home of the Rattlesnake Roundup Derby. Three words that should not be used consecutively in any sentence.
Nowatka – Is this Tornado Alley? The Dust Bowl? See the famous Bowling Ball Fence. Probably a model for those desktop clacker things from the '80s.
There's a bowling ball rosary (too heavy to wear), and a bowling ball alphabet, but it only goes up to the letter “V.” No, they still have plenty of bowling balls, but they forgot the other letters.
Oklahoma City has a Milk Bottle Building. A dairy, perhaps? A mini-mart with ice cream? A training center for milkmen? Nope. It's a Vietnamese sandwich shop. And in Oklahoma, that might be more rare than a building with a giant milk bottle on top of it.
Pauls Valley – Come one, come all to the Action Figure Museum. If you are able to leap tall milk bottle buildings in a single bound.
Oklahoma City – World's Largest Mound. Not even close to the World's Largest Home Plate.
Okemah – Barbara Sue Manire, interred in the Highland Cemetery, has an expired parking meter tombstone. Sucks to run out of quarters.
Wynnewood – G.W. Exotic Animal Memorial Park, which features many of God's strangest and most dangerous creatures, “all of which you can get disturbingly close to,” claims one review. The review calls it: “Amateurish,” “Run by weirdos,” and “they have a restaurant that is only open at certain times.”
More oddball attractions, as we find 'em, folks!
By Kerry Gleason
Having too much fun with this to pass up a chance to blog. I was researching Tulsa, Oklahoma, to write about a fictional character from there, and learned more about Oklahoma than I thought I'd ever care to know. Here are some of the oddities in Tulsa, and around the rest of the state.
Tulsa is home of the largest pair of praying hands sculpture. It is also the only city in America with a six-figure budget line item for a manicurist. It's also home to the Center of the Universe, which is an attraction described as “astonishing,” “eerie,” “free parking” and “no traffic.” The gist is that when you stand in the circle, you hear an echo that nobody else can hear. Sounds like a Kathie Griffin stand-up appearance. There's the Golden Driller Titanic Oil Man. Every guy would like that nickname, but there's only one, and he stands in Tulsa. Detractors of the statue, one of the hugest in America, point out that the Driller is somewhat hermaphroditic, that the model for the statue was a woman, and apparently, he wears a sting of beads that is unmanly. Tulsa also has a time capsule featuring a 1998 Plymouth Prowler, already a collectible keepsake, and local restaurant menus. That's gonna be a helluva party when they dig that baby up in 2048!
Other Okie Oddities include:
Clinton – The Elvis Stayed Here Motel. It was Elvis Grbac, former KC Chief's QB, not the one you were thinking.
Arcadia – the world's largest pop bottle. Underestimated is the world's largest drinking straw.
Ardmore – a music box allegedly shot by Jesse James. I figure I'll pass. If Jesse hated the music that much, then I don't need to hear it, either.
Avard – a haunted gymnasium and cafe. Vinne Rae's Grill and Graze is in an old gymnasium that is haunted. No doubt by customers who died from the food at Vinnie Rae's.
Beaver – The Cow-Chip Throwing Capital of the World. Now there's a testament to the excitement this place has to offer. “What dya wanna do, Clem.” “I dunno, Cletus. What dy'all want to do?” “Bet I can throw this here cow dung further than you.” “Bet ya can't!” And a city gained an identity.
Boise City – has a “replica bomb crater.” Because some dumbass filled the original in before some other dumbass thought there might be people stupid enough to visit a bomb crater.
Claremore – has the Will Rogers' Memorial, featuring the contents of his pockets at the time of his death.
Durant – The world's largest peanut is here. I love peanuts. Why didn't they plant it and grow more giant peanuts? Selfish bastards.
Erick – The home of the Roger “King of the Road” Miller Museum. I loved Roger Miller. Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it!
Guthrie – gunfights in the streets. We have that here in Rochester, too.
Foyil – World's largest totem pole. Ed Galloway built it after retiring “so that I would have something to do.”
Guymon – World's straightest road, for 50 miles. As opposed to Toronto's Church Street, which is the un-straghtest road I've ever encountered, if you get my drift.
Hugo – Called “Circus Town USA.” Also called “Carnie Heaven.” Otherwise known as “The Greatest Freak Show on Earth,” and “The Off-Center of the Universe.”
Magnum – Home of the Rattlesnake Roundup Derby. Three words that should not be used consecutively in any sentence.
Nowatka – Is this Tornado Alley? The Dust Bowl? See the famous Bowling Ball Fence. Probably a model for those desktop clacker things from the '80s.
There's a bowling ball rosary (too heavy to wear), and a bowling ball alphabet, but it only goes up to the letter “V.” No, they still have plenty of bowling balls, but they forgot the other letters.
Oklahoma City has a Milk Bottle Building. A dairy, perhaps? A mini-mart with ice cream? A training center for milkmen? Nope. It's a Vietnamese sandwich shop. And in Oklahoma, that might be more rare than a building with a giant milk bottle on top of it.
Pauls Valley – Come one, come all to the Action Figure Museum. If you are able to leap tall milk bottle buildings in a single bound.
Oklahoma City – World's Largest Mound. Not even close to the World's Largest Home Plate.
Okemah – Barbara Sue Manire, interred in the Highland Cemetery, has an expired parking meter tombstone. Sucks to run out of quarters.
Wynnewood – G.W. Exotic Animal Memorial Park, which features many of God's strangest and most dangerous creatures, “all of which you can get disturbingly close to,” claims one review. The review calls it: “Amateurish,” “Run by weirdos,” and “they have a restaurant that is only open at certain times.”
More oddball attractions, as we find 'em, folks!
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